Joss Whedon bietet für TERMINATOR

Joss Whedon 2005Joss Whe­don, der Erfin­der von Kult­se­ri­en wie BUFFY oder FIREFLY hat einen offe­nen Brief an die Rech­te­inha­ber des TERMINATOR ver­fasst, in dem er sie auf­for­dert, ihm die­se für 10000 Dol­lar zu ver­kau­fen. Wir berich­te­ten ges­tern dar­über, dass die­se Rech­te auf­grund der Hal­cyon-Plei­te der­zeit auf dem Markt zu haben sind.

Liest man sich den Brief durch, könn­te man aller­dings auf die Idee kom­men, dass Whe­don sein Ange­bot nicht so ganz ernst meint… :o)

Der inter­es­sier­te Leser fin­det Whe­dons Schrei­ben nach einem Klick auf

An Open Let­ter to the Ter­mi­na­tor Owners. From a Very Important Hol­ly­wood Mogul

Dear Sirs/Ma’ams,

I am Joss Whe­don, the mas­ter­mind behind Titan A.E., Paren­thood (not the movie) (or the new series) (or the one whe­re ›hood‹ was capi­ta­li­zed ›cau­se it was a pun), and myri­ad other legen­da­ry tales. I have heard through the ›gra­pe­vi­ne‹ that the Ter­mi­na­tor fran­chise is for sale, and I am pre­pa­red to make a pre-emp­ti­ve bid RIGHT NOW to wrap this dea­lio up. This is not a joke, this is not a scam, this is not avail­ab­le on TV. I will wri­te a check TODAY for $10,000, and vio­la! Ter­mi­na­tor off your hands.

No, you did­n’t mis­count. That’s four – FOUR! – zeroes after that one. That’s to show you I mean busi­ness. And I mean show busi­ness. Nik­ki Fin­ke says the Ter­mi­na­tor con­cept is play­ed. Well, here’s what I have to say to Nik­ki Fin­ke: you are a fine jour­na­list and plea­se don’t ever noti­ce me. The Ter­mi­na­tor sto­ry is as for­ma­ti­ve and important in our cul­tu­re – and my pre­tend play – as any I can think of. It’s far from over. And befo­re you Ter­mi­na­tor-Owners (I have trou­ble remem­be­ring names) rush to cash that sweet che­que, let me give you a tas­te of what I could do with that fran­chise:

1) Ter­mi­na­tor… of the Rings! Yeah, what if he time-tra­vel­led TOO far… back to when the­re was dra­gons and wizards? (I think it was the Dark Ages.) Has­ta La Vis­ta, Bor­a­mir! Cool, huh? »Now you gon­na be Gan­dalf the Red!« RRRRIP! But then he total­ly helps, becau­se he’s a cyborg and he doe­s­n’t give a s#&% about the ring – it has no power over him! And he can car­ry it AND Fro­do AND Sam AND f@%& up some orcs while he’s doing it. This stuff just comes to me. I mean it. (I will also offer $10,000 for the Lord of the Rings fran­chise).

2) More Glau. Hey. There’s a rea­son they’­re cal­led »Sum­mer« movies.

3) Can you say… musi­cal? Well don’t. Even I know that’s an awful idea.

4) Chris­ti­an Bale’s John Con­nor will get a throat lozen­ge. This will also help his Bat­work (ten grand for that fran­chise too, btw.)

5) More porn. John Con­nor never told Kyle Ree­se this, but his main objec­tive in going to the past was to get some. What if there’s a lot of future-babies that have to be made? Cue wah-wah pedal gui­tar – and dol­lar signs!

6) The movies will stop get­ting less cool.

Okay. There’s more – this brain don’t quit! (though it has occa­sio­nal­ly been fired) – but I think you get my drift. I real­ly belie­ve the Ter­mi­na­tor fran­chise has only begun to plumb the depths of ques­tio­ning the human con­di­ti­on during awe­so­me stunts, and I’d like to she­pherd it through the next pha­se. The money is the­re, but more import­ant­ly, the heart is the­re. But more import­ant­ly, money. Think about it. End this bloo­dy bid­ding war befo­re it begins, and put the Ter­mi­na­tor in the hands of someo­ne who wat­ched the first one more than any other movie in col­le­ge, inclu­ding »Song of Nor­way« (no cur­rent fran­chise offer).

Sin­ce­rely, Joss Whe­don.

Dank an Cynx für den Hin­weis via Twit­ter

Bild: Joss Whe­don 2005, aus der Wiki­pe­dia

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AutorIn: Stefan Holzhauer

Meist harm­lo­ser Nerd mit natür­li­cher Affi­ni­tät zu Pixeln, Bytes, Buch­sta­ben und Zahn­rä­dern. Kon­su­miert zuviel SF und Fan­ta­sy und schreibt seit 1999 online dar­über.

Ein Kommentar for “Joss Whedon bietet für TERMINATOR”

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Bandit

sagt:

Whe­don hat den offe­nen Brief viel­leicht nicht all­zu ernst ver­fasst, doch ihn in der Ver­ant­wor­tung der Wei­ter­füh­rung von TERMINATOR zu sehen, wäre der serei mehr als zuträg­lich.
Viel­leicht regt die­ser Brief jemand mit Ein­fluss zum Nach­den­ken an.

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